Krista Canton

I recently saw an article called “Achievement Porn” describing how video games and even social networking sites seem to offer you tasks you can accomplish relatively easily, then reward you for them giving you the illusion that you’ve accomplished something.

Today I went out to sushi with some of my friends (Asia really likes sushi) and met a girl who’s the girlfriend of a friend of a friend of mine.  She added me to facebook, and I kind of thought “woo another friend.”

Then I realized that’s exactly the sort of false achievement this guy was talking about.

What is a real achievement then?  Eventually everything’s going to die and the Universe will be a bunch of dust, a homogeneous mixture of matter/energy… or something,

Thinking logically enough about life, I conclude that real achievement is four overlapping things: comfort, relationships, happiness, and experiencing the world.  Influencing other people, inspiring them, connecting with them.  Experiencing as much of life as you possibly can.

Can you think of anything else?

So today I decided to update…wait for it… in an english accent!

I think I should do my next job interview in an english accent (I’m kidding – i’m not that good, right?

Anyway here’s the podcast… eventually I’ll make actual mp3’s of these:

Transcript (well technically I guess you’d call it a script:)

It’s beautiful outside, and my friends are going for sushi.  And I’m sitting inside eating cereal and writing a lab write-up.

Because yesterday I spent all day watching TV… and updating my to-do list.

I really enjoy writing this list and writing about what I plan to do with my life. But it’s rare that I just let myself completely enjoy where I am at this very moment. I’ve gotta start doing that, just soaking in the simple things; practice being amazed by life so that when I do something awesome I can properly enjoy it.

One thing on my to-do list is to make a webcomic.  A weekly thing, something that doesn’t take much time out of my life, just a couple of hours a week (plus doodling in elec class.)  It will make it update on Saturdays because nobody else seems to.

I’ve been thinking about my webcomic and realized it’s a half-post-apocalyptic Doctor Who without Time Lords, other planets, the TARDIS, or immortality.  Or a bunch of other things.  It just seems like I subconsciously lifted specific scenes from Doctor Who episodes.

I think I watch Doctor Who for the acting.  Certainly not for the aliens, or the plots which sometimes seem a little contrived and silly (like in one episode a fish drowns), or the Daleks (Exterminate exterminate) or the fact that it’s basically the Hitch Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy played straight.

I really want to travel sometime.  Get away from stuff like rent and homework and laundry and stuff.

One thing I like about Doctor Who is that The Doctor doesn’t have any sort of schedule to his life, it isn’t all planned out (Look for a co-op job, work somewhere this summer, go back to school in the fall, look for another co-op job, work for 16 months, go back to school and finish my degree, get a job, settle down, start a family, have a mid-life crisis, retire, and be old.)

I need to start including concrete plans in my to-do list.

EDIT: apparently some webcomics do update on Saturdays, namely Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal.  Whoops.

Here is my first ever podcast… I was going to put pretty pictures with it but I ran out of time.

• I seem to talk with my hands a lot.
• I just pronounced “about” like “a boot”!  I was fairly sure I never did that.
• I tricked myself, by using iMovie to record my voice and it also recorded my face while I was talking.

I have been applying for summer co-op jobs/internships.  I am just beginning my “self-directed job search” which means I’m seeking out companies related to my field of study and emailing or calling them, finding out if they hire students in the summer or more information.

I have barely started.  I’m scared silly of talking on phones or leaving messages (if I were to leave a message, I imagine it would sound like Peter’s message from I Love You Man.)

So I’m going to start a podcast.

I need something that will make me more comfortable communicating verbally with people in person and on the phone.

Image from http://fairytalediaries.tumblr.com/

Ideally, I want to make a video blog, but I don’t think I’m ready for that yet.  It seems to be too big of a step to go from writing text to putting up videos of myself.  Once I get more comfortable with talking un-awkwardly, I’m going to make a vlog.

As a kid I used to want to do everything, to be a part of everything.  I’ve tamed down that desire to a few things and one of those things is acting.  Every time I watch a really good movie or TV show, I want to jump out of my comfort zone and act.

Watching something like the most recent few Doctor Whos (and their confidentials) seems like a kind of magic.  How do they do this?  How do they get the emotions just right, and create something from nothing and make it feel like you (the person watching) is going through what the Doctor is going through.

The second time I watched the Waters of Mars episode (yes, I’ve seen it twice) I knew what was coming and yet I was still amazed at the acting and I was still amazed at the Doctor’s character – he’s walking away.  Throughout most of the episode he’s walking away.

Even when he goes back and starts saving them, you get this uneasy feeling: he wouldn’t have just walked away earlier unless there was a really good reason.  He’s snapped, he’s not being logical.

Back on Earth he’s playing God… well he is called a Time Lord.  The Time Lord Victorious:

Time lord victorious… Drawn from looking at a screenshot from the episode

It’s brilliant, and I just don’t understand how, I can’t understand the mechanics behind creating things like this.  There are some people who think advanced technology is just like magic; I don’t: I think great writing and acting and creating these characters is magic.  It’s inconceivable how they create it.

That might be what’s driving me to want to try to act: a desire to be able to make this magic.  I always want to do things that seem wonderful and impossible.  I think “That’s brilliant.  Where can I get one?”

(My blog entries about random Doctor who episodes probably don’t do them justice.  I found a review of this episode over at bleedingcool.com, which has pictures like actual screenshots instead of a half-drawn picture.)

I never watched the news, but I think I am going to start… and as silly as it sounds, I am emotionally ready to start watching the news.

My parents don’t watch the news.  My mom reads the paper and I think my dad does but often he’s fairly ignorant about the world.  I just followed suit.

Back in 2005, I saw something on TV about bombs in the London metro, and I decided that I don’t want to know about these things.  People suck, sometimes.

In my field of paper flowers...

Image credits: Scarlet Lillies.

Now I think I’m ready.  As in emotionally ready to watch the news, to see stories about people being killed or hurt and about people killing or hurting.

I realize that there are some things I can’t change.  Maybe there are some things I can change.  What I need right now is the wisdom to tell the difference.

So, it’s time to find out what is going on on this planet.  Time to start watching the news!

I heard that David Tennant (Tenth Doctor from Doctor Who) was Barty Crouch Junior in Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire.

No way!  The Tenth Doctor, the one who would sacrifice himself to save a human… a completely insane death eater.

So I downloaded Harry Potter and watched a bit.  Sure enough, David Tennant was said completely insane death eater!

This has just blown my mind a little.

NANDs with 3 or more inputs convert to an OR with 3 or more inverted inputs.

NORs with 3 or more inputs convert to an OR with 3 or more inverted inputs.

I am about halfway through writing a short story.  I think it’s the best thing since 1.5% milk, but I’ll probably read through it later and realize it’s not.  Either way, I’m going to post it here.

I am typing this earlier, because I’m going to be at a New Year’s Party with some wonderful friends.

Here are my New Years Resolutions for 2010:

Organization and logical stuff

• Posture, flexibility, balance, endurance, exercise, dance.
• Set out things the night before and set alarm for 15 minutes before I have to leave.
• Pack a lunch and not buying om-noms on illogical impulse.
• Eat only until not hungry, use observation skills.
• Stop picking at nails and lips, sitting for hours in front of my blog, and making fun of dad.
• Being organized and planning studying.
• Wash face and floss every night, even at N’s,
• Apartment next year.  Be flexible and don’t expect ideal, but strive for.
• Getting out and doing things, not taking the lazy way out.  Also, telephones and double salchows.
• Write letters.
• Put things away promptly and take a day in January to organize and sort everything.

People-skills and other weaknesses

• Sensitivity and feelings and stuff.
• Focus on making people comfortable (physically and mentally).
• Logistics of having friends.
• Filtering what I should say.  Filter out random, irrelevant.
• Being able to present yourself as a likable person for co-op job.
• Not being nervous (“weak”) about stuff I care about.
• Decisively choosing and sharing/connecting with people.

My last entry was dauntingly long, sorry about that.

I have been reading Ender’s Shadow (Ender’s Game, told from the point of view of a kid called Bean.)  One part stands out to me so far: when Ender is the commander of the Dragon Army and they are all exhausted from winning battles, he calls Bean into his room.  They talk a bit, and it’s the first (and possibly only) time in this book where you see that Ender isn’t completely sure of himself all the time.  And he shares this with Bean.